It's September

September and it's Spring
what a wonderful season it is.

But it doesnt seem as wonderful as how it is.
I've been staying at home and hoping to go out today
but ended up you fall sick and then i went for a dinner
with an extra ordinary friend who we had such a weird relationship
but it'll only be something between us isnt it?

I felt so guilty after I called him
which I know he must be resting.
Cause I do..last nite.
After he sent me home, I took a shower
and then straight away I went to bed

I felt such lonely
like i never feel before
there is no one at home
parents went out for dinner
brother is at academy working
and younger brother was out with friend for dinner as well

I'm left alone at home
How I wish there is somebody who can accompany me
but sadly there is none.

Well then, I had enough rest
But I've bothered u the whole night before
and then the next nite u werent sleeping earlier either
but u woke up early this morning for class
So you take care bah.
Get well soon. Should be alright after a good sleep
^^

mmm... as now
I'm still wondering
whether did I actually did something wrongly??
But for sure we both know that things are being control
and it has been that way since last year

And i knew it as well
that u trusted me so much
but still....
hmm.. that day u were saying I didnt want a relationship?
Who said I didnt?
It's the way that u were acting
wasnt showing me that u wanted us to be together.
Did you actually even thought of that?
I not sure when did it ended up this way.

hmmm..
Please say that you will stay
Dont just come and go like you do
You know I always wanted you to stay.
Even if I asked you to leave,
why did u just left without leaving a word or even a single little thing?

Be strong and move on.
Dont be bothered
and everything will be fine as time pass by.

Com'on.
What makes me someone great?
Be who I am.
Isnt that right?
:D

Appreciate what I have now
and be really grateful
and think that I'm so fortunate to have all this
I love myself
I love my family
I dont love you

Thanks daddy mommy.
*my mom cook bird nest for us today :)

and my younger brother was asking me why do my eyes look so watery just now?

I didnt know how to answer him =\
just ask him back "is it?" and said "i must be tired"
but that was not actually what

I know whenever my elder brother see me cry
he will hug me so tightly and pat on my head
because he knows it even though i'm not saying anything
he knows that i must have been treated wronged.
But that was years ago
I havent broken down for so long whenever my family is there
I know for sure i can make it
I dont wanna be weak
at least not for them to see that I am.

I will move on and live life to the fullest
appreciate what I have now.