d.e.c.i.d.e.d

Decision made
It's been really hard for me..
I dont know whether is this right

I wondered for a long time.
But no one knows about this
only some knows

and it's getting stronger.

The wonder kinda feeling has been so strong recently
I dont understand
Is it worth waiting?
Is it worth liking?
Is it worth worrying?
Is it worth......

Well, there is no answer to all this
Because there is no such thing as "worth it or not"
If you really like someone

But why am I wondering?
It is only when you dont feel the same way as before
Or when
you dont feel how he/she feels for you
after he/she knows how you feel for him/her
Your feeling starts to be unstable
You'll start to question yourself
many questions popping out

I've decided,
let it be
this is the best way
I guess.

But then
Am I not acting this way as before?
I've already let it be for such long time
Until now...
I really dont know what should I do

I've done what I can/should do
and now what's left to do is....
I'm really not sure what else can i do
Do you know what should I do now?
Can you at least let me know?

You ought to know how I feel now
=\


That is why
I've decided.

I think
*______* - fill in the blanks with my thoughts
should be the best way.

:)

Shooting Friday @ E.X. Taekwondo Academy

Since morning till night
Whole day we stayed at E.X Taekwondo Academy

Thanks to Keith Tan Kok Keong for sponsoring the venue
for our TV news production and TVC production
:)

Hmm..as a return, let me do some publicity for you~
People who are interested do log on

E.X Taekwondo Academy

Training Emphasizes :

· Basic Combat Techniques
· Sparring Competition Techniques
· Fitness Training
· Leadership Training
· Disciplinary and Self Confidence
· Basic Human Anatomy that is vulnerable to attacks
· Focus Training ( Amount of Students in class will be controled )

:)

An ordinary Ladies Night

I was suppose to stay home for assignments
but then again I went out

But not at late night,
Just from afternoon til night.

Supposingly,
I wanted watch The Fourth Kind
but I guess it's not in Cinema anymore
=\

hmm..so then we just went for tea @ KTZ SS2
then Summer has dance practise
so we just sit in some empty classroom to chit chat

It's really glad meeting you
We both agree to this rite?
hehe xD
*hugs* to my dear Daughter - Lily
♥

Take care of yourself ar~
muacks

weekdays

*monday*
Shooting for Tropicana Twister TVC
-Failed as it rains whole day
and My shoes are so dirty now!
mud mud mud mud mud!!
u.r.g.h!
Get paid + know some new friends
:)

*tuesday*
it was the longest day in uni of all weekdays
early morning
I went for class
It's been awhile, it seems i'm not familiar with this class at all
=.=
this proves that i've been skipping class very frequently

Then,when it was about 430pm
I planned to go for movie at 450pm
but my class havent end until 515pm
==

wth..
Luckily we and rainnie went out earlier
ish!

But still,
I was late for movie.
It was the first time I didnt scare watching horror film
*phobia2* was the movie watched

Somehow, I realized that
Horror films arent scary at all,
if you are watching it with different mood and in different perspective

The whole day I acted really weird
and then we went for a SQ talk
well, learnt alot
It makes me think more
=\

but isnt that i'm thinking so much recently?
=.=

u.r.g.h!

*wednesday*
just past
It was my daddy's chinese 60th Birthday
:)

hmm..just one class today
I went to watch a weird film
"Blue Velvet" the name
by David Lynch
a Surrealist film which
just one word
u.r.g.h!

bahhhhhhh~!
mood swinging!!

Taekwondo Sparring Competition 15Nov2009

It was a Sunday morning
Where me and mumusan woke up early in 7am

Actually we were suppose to wake at 6am
=.=

oops!

hmm..luckily
we found our way to the hall
at Putrajaya Presint11
:)

So smart lar me~
hoho!!

Taekwondo Tournament is scary
Of course
It is healthy in a way
but still,
there were injuries at all times
=\

Anyway,
to all taekwondo players
All the best!

*photos*
Briefing before competition


Coaches


Hiah!

MoneyKing 商业大亨嘉年华歌唱比赛 14Nov2009

It's was a small singing competition in TimeSquare
Just participate to gain experiences
:)

haha~
No more stage fright
Well, basically
I guess what cause the stage fright is the pressure you gave to urself
=\

hmm..
I have no pressure at all
because
I've chosen the right song to sing
:)

Although i wasnt the winner,
but I've tried my best
:)

What a Movie Day - 13Nov2009

The first time ever
17 of us
Including
me, katoonboy, mumusan, poison, summer, nicholas, george, chengcheng, chinchin, nicole, alex, cathy, pauline, arnold, ryan, leon, and hemin

*i wasnt in the picture*
:(

Watching 2012
:p


Wondered how we got such nice place?
and it's like the second day just after it released?
haha~!

Very easy~~
I purchased it online the day before
LOL!

HanXing College Production - 《無底洞》MV Copy

As I was asked to help out
hmm
Since i'm free
so i helped out
:)

hmm..
She - Nicole

was the director

She - Ally

was the associate director

She - Nicky

was the DOP

He - Elwin

was the DOP

He - Alston

was the wardrobe

He - Linda

was the props

casts
He - Eugene

was stranger

me - Yean

was - her

hahaha!

hmm..
apologize to the other crew members
as i didnt really get to know all of u
=\

hmm hmm
but yea..It was great working together
:)

hmm hmm..
3 days of shooting and it finally ended
and the end product is now here~

The Leaf Production presents you~
Tanya - 無底洞 *copy*


:)

the original one


how was it?
Well, you can always go to my facebook page
I've shared the links too!
of
the one I acted and the original one~
:)

do leave comments yea :p

All the Best!

*check out more photos on facebook*
=]
*trying to upload~!

My Young Star Search 2009 Semifinal 8Nov2009

The top8 finalist!!

Congratulation to Nicole, Vivian, Jess, Eugene, Desmond, Will, Ryan, and Joe
♥

On the semi final day,
I wasnt an ordinary former contestant
haha!

I went for shooting
:)

Quite cool ler
LOL

Interviewing JianYi laoshi


Jiayou lar, mates~!

Pimp My Night - UTAR Dance Club Event 5Nov2009

*expired post*

It was actually an event organize by UTAR Dance Club
with all the new committee members

Without any experience and most of them are first timer
organizing an event, it was a great success.

Here, as a senior,
Congratulations.
i wished.

and
Hoping the coming event would be a better event!
*by then, i must be graduated* :)

We have been through so many to come to this stage,
the event finally ended.

The hard work we've been through,
the organizing process,
the performers' pratise,
the emcees, the committees,
the set designers,
all helpers and the officers who helped.

Thank you once again I'm wishing here
lastly,
the people who supported this event
including the sponsors and audiences

Without you all,
It will not be as successful.

I remember,
things werent really right even though
it was a day before,
the set wasnt done, everything was kelam kabut
even there was NO actual rehearsal
*omg! how can this be?*

But fortunately,
It all went well.
:)

Of course,
This doesnt mean that we will be as lucky as this time
for the other time.
Do not take things for granted
and keep the good thing up.

Besides all this,
I've known another gang of friends to hang out with.
Hope our friendship does last long
:)

*check out photos on facebook*
and really sorry guys that i couldnt upload the pictures yet
=\

but i'm not sure am i gonna upload it
ahaha!
*eViL me*

s.t.r.a.n.g.e.r + c.h.e.e.s.e c.a.k.e

It was only a while
but as if we dont know each other
you were at the driver seat
he was talking to me

·······························

If it was doom's day
I'll miss you
I wanted to say

I'll be there for you
Just like what i've been doing

and

I ♥ you

my family and friends
always as i do.

·······························

Recently I'm keep gaining weight,
the kilos never drop but keep rising
It reaches a figure which I cant take it anymore
Exercising, Fasting, bla bla bla
w.e.i.g.h.t m.a.n.a.g.e.m.e.n.t
we call it

I was chatting with cicak online
Izzi is the Italian Restaurant mentioned
Pastas, Cheese, Pizzas …………
the list goes on

A sudden piece of memory flashes through my mind
cheese cake
:)

It wasnt any ordinary cheese cake
He once mention bringing me to taste it
♥
I wonder "will i indulge?"
I wonder "will the day come?"
I wondered.

A promise which will only kept in my heart
It's only for me to remember
Well, I bet he had forgotten
Even I do..
:p

As I say before,
things happened or mentioned will never be forgotten
but just we cant recall it at some time.
When something/someone remind us of it,
definitely
we will remember we have did or said it once
:)

t.h.o.u.g.h.t.s

what am i thinking recently?
hmm

actually i know..
but then i'm acting really..
urgh!
so many contradictions!

I'm controlling myself
not to put in so much feeling for you
Just because i'm afraid of hurting myself
Listening to the answers i do not wish to hear

c.a.m.o.u.f.l.a.g.e
it's so fake.

I pretended all the while
I'm not sure whether you feel the same way as I do for you
Maybe it's because i'm such a pessimist
when it comes to relationship.

Finally I've admitted
but it seems I'm confused
confuse of
so what if i've admitted
it's still the same.
You knew it long ago

no d.i.r.e.c.t.i.o.n.s
where am i suppose to go?
what am i suppose to do?

well
maybe
i'll just choose to
let t.i.m.e pass

As time goes by
I believe
It'll all be alright

♥

Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be?
You are not here with me

the lonely feeling is here again today.
=\

I've been thinking so much these days
Maybe i'm just too free recently
Or should I say
I'd rather be occupied by all these thoughts
than by other things

=.=

why is it so?
well maybe
hmm
I really dont know

Maybe it's
…………
*迷惘*

你愛我嗎？
我可以這樣問你嗎？
你愛我嗎？
你給我的溫柔是寂寞嗎？
你愛我嗎？
你心裏還有遺憾嗎？
你是真的快樂嗎？

你愛我嗎？
你這樣問過自己嗎？
你給我的擁抱是習慣嗎？
你是真的愛我嗎？

幸福
是不是握在自己的手上？
=\

每當寂寞來襲
偶爾會想到
該
堅持或放棄

不必傷感
閉上眼睛
黎明即將來臨

累了的心
因爲你的出現
一直能繼續

"因爲你"
到底有多真實？

在意

被人牽着鼻子走了
只因我在意？
我不知道
爲什麽會這樣…

我心情不好時
你根本不知道

都怪自己愛逞強
我想
我是太獨立了
根本沒有給機會別人去照顧我
是這樣嗎？
=\

無所謂啦
這根本不重要

只是有時候
你心情不好時
希望有人可以和你分擔

也許那個人不是我
也無所謂
只想要看到大家都開開心心
:)

只因
看到你納悶的時候
自己的心情也會納悶起來
就像現在
好納悶~

只是你的一句話
或是你的一個舉動
你該知道
影響有多大
=\

想開心的事吧
中午看到的東東
自己既然
天馬行空
胡思亂想
對號入座覺得
是要對我說的
^^

=.=
好自戀~
哎喲！
偶爾讓自己幻想一下下
無所謂啦~

啊~
*游走在灰色空間*

他不愛我
是真的這樣吧
愛會來 就會去

其實
遇到了自己喜歡的人
就應該好好珍惜
也許從前的我
太適應悲傷

你的出現在無意中
卻深深撼動我
一起走着沒說什麽
心是滿足的

愛情本來應該是美麗的
假如明天將要消失
趁現在我还愛着
只想記得
被你抱着溫熱的感受

到底對你的是怎樣的一個感覺呢？
可能
一切就應該要止于此

也許應該逼自己不去想
當然也不敢讓自己開始去喜歡…
可是却好像已经喜欢了

好矛盾吧
活該
=\

我真的不知道
該怎麽辦
等時間過
讓一切順其自然
也許
我應該隨自己的感覺去
可是我一直都這樣

喜歡
就只是喜歡而已
嗎？

*歲月磨人*

對於喜歡的他
感覺好不明確
有很多時候
都會覺得很平靜
只是
在深夜裏
回憶會瘋狂來襲

不明確
也許
用来描述我們對彼此的感覺
最适合不过吧

只是
由於不明確
似乎單方面付出的感情
好疲倦
我該堅持與否？

雖然
是很不清楚你對我怎樣
但是
我沒有要求任何回報

只是希望
自己也能够
"有情人終成眷屬"
:)

無論對方是誰
我一定要幸福
=]

e.m.o = empty minded organism

how do i actually come out with such a term
=.=

maybe i'm just too free to figure this out..
empty minded oraganism
EMO

what does empty minded means?
=.=
I dont know
maybe we can perceive it as
1. not thinking anything
2. confuse mind
3. overloaded mind
4. unsure
5. stupid without knowlegde

hmm hmm
wat else?
I dont know...

hmm hmm
If I was the only emo queen on earth
haha!

impossible
I'm just being emotional
as it somehow might inspire me in something
=\

Arent all girls emotional?
but i'm just a little more expressive mar
=.=

What are you thinking Chee Yean?
it's 330am now
and i'm listening to LapSap's song

*doom chit*
u.r.g.h!
I dont understand~~

Chee Yean,
Please go to bed
Dont think so much
I know you dont have the courage
and
It'll all ends here.

*sighs*

back to school

mm hmm~
why is that so?

back to school?
hmm..

Actually we are doing an assignment
which regarding indicipline issues of primary school students
hmm..
but it wasnt my primary school

shooting~!

while waiting for the head master
I ate this
aa~

it's only rm1
haha~!

I bet all primary school has this
hmm..how long has it been since u have last visited ur primary school?

Well, finally
we are here for this


Thanks teachers
:)

We went back to our secondary school too
but no photos were taken
I miss my high school days
=\

*m.e.m.o.r.i.e.s*

Halloween of 2009

On the Halloween day itself,
it was so many events happening

First of all
It was the revival round of My Young Star Search 2009
Well,
unfortunately and sadly to say
I didnt make it to semifinal
=\

It's ok
It wont stop here
:)
there are more stages for me to step onto!

It wasnt as usual,
today i went with uncle Ryan
hehe xD

and our make up + hairdo sponsor by Snips

image of the day
wee~ nice hair do + make up

Then after the competition
we headed to Brem Mall @ Kepong
Luckily we wasnt late, if not i really felt guilty
=\
kakaka!

hmm..wonder why are we heading Brem Mall?
it's just some event of JiaYu - Astro Channel :)

Yeah! Boy Search top3 and Most photogenic

After the event,
We went to fetch cicak
ngyiahahaa!
Then headed to the Curve lor

*it seems like we only go curve when there's event huh?*
haha

Had dinner at Kenny Roger's Roasted Chicken
then waited for so long lor..
I mean for movie

So we camwhore abit
hehe :p


unfriendly ghost
=.=


me and dear Lily


omg~ "daughter"'s craving for milk
haha!
=.=


cicak says "I'm the poker king"
*roar!!*


Jennifer's Body

-end-

Cute Little Creature

A cute little creature
came all the way to find a place to stay

and then
my eldest brother
adopted it


hegdehog!


sleeping


awake when smells the food
=p


drink water




sleep again~

how lazy!
grrr!!
but i'm scare to hold it
blek =X